Cuffing Season Sucks Unless You’re a Supermodel
Congrats to Emily Ratajkowski and Gisele Bündchen, who have reportedly selected Cuffing Season partners: Pete Davidson and Joaquim Valente, respectively.
The rumor that two supermodels managed to snag short-term boyfriends for the winter may not come as particularly inspiring news to the rest of the struggling population, but we’re pretty happy for EmRata and Gisele!
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It’s been two months since Ratajkowski filed for divorce from her (alleged) cheater of a husband, Sebastian Bear McClard, who had the gall to propose with a folded up paperclip. Now, it seems she’s swapping bent wire for a tiny little tattoo — though it’s unclear whether Davidson will have room to fit “EmRata” between “KIM,” “MY GIRL IS A LAWYER,” and the rest of his tributes to ex-girlfriends.
Bündchen, on the other hand, reached a divorce settlement with Tom Brady in late October, officially putting an end to a relationship that kinda confused everyone from the start. While the ex-couple had apparently been on the outs for years, it wasn’t Brady’s MAGA hat that pushed Bündchen to call it quits — it was his decision to retire from football and promptly un-retire 40 days later.
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She has reportedly moved on to another athlete, Joaquim Valente, one half of the Miami-based Valente Brothers jiu-jitsu academy. Bündchen, who apparently takes classes with the Valentes, posted about their “awesome” teaching skills back in February.
If you’re still benched for Cuffing Season, don’t fret — you can totally find someone to distract yourself from the cold, just like these celebrities did. Maybe try applying for Raya again?!
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